Pain for All Involved
by alexandriaZ
Summary: The very reason for suicide is to cause ones own death. Never stopping to think of the people left behind. Join Spencer and Henry as Spencer learns the fates of his loved ones after he is gone. Written for the CCOAC Death Challenge. My assigned character was , Spencer Reid.


**Author's Note**

**This is my entry for the 2013 Dearly Departed Death Fic Challange.**

**My assigned character was Dr. Reid.**

10 years into the future

_Have you ever wondered how the barrel of a gun would taste in your mouth? I have. My name is Spencer Reid I can't go on anymore. Too much loss. Too much pain for one person to handle. The accident that killed Henry and Jack, was my fault. _

-Spencer

Bang.

Blood splattered the walls. The window. The carpet. And Spencer Reid lay dead. He was finally free from his pain.

He opened his eyes surrounded by bright white light. A deafening silence filled the room.

"E equals Mc squared." a deep voice muttered. Spencer turned around and fifteen year old Henry-Jareau-LaMontagne ambled towards him. Blond hair falling into brown eyes. The spitting image of his mother. Spencer tried to smile but the anger on Henry's face told him he was less than welcome. Wherever they were.

"Why did you do it?" He barked.

Spencer shrugged, "Henry, I couldn't go on knowing what I had done to you and Jack."

Henry's eyes narrowed, reminding Spencer of JJ when she was angry.

"It wasn't your time."

Frustration welled up inside Spencer. He needed to make him understand. Why couldn't Henry understand the guilt that ate him every single time he awoke. Knowing that his godson and his friend, would never be able to.

"You don't know what I've seen, Henry. You can't possibly understand everything that I've been through. You two were just kids. And I killed you. I shouldn't have been driving that night. And because of my iresponsability, you died."

" It was our time to go. But it isn't yours. Watch this and you will understand." Henry led them down a narrow hallway and through a door. Clouds floated in front of them so low that they could stand on them.

"Where are we?" Spencer asked, his eyes wide in amazment.

"It's called purgatory. " Henry answered.

"The Bible never said anything about purgatory." Spencer argued.

" This is where you go when it's time to rethink your decsions. Just watch."

Henry leaned forward and Spencer followed his lead, he sneezed as a cumulis cloud brushed past his face.

Looking down on the earth below him, he saw his bloodied body sprawled on the floor of his living room.

_**"Spence! Spence answer the door!" JJ called, suddenly the front door flew open and her shriek filled his ears. She dropped to her knees in front of his body. Searching for a pulse. **_

_**The scene morphed into Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi standing in front of a wooden coffin. Rossi's head was bowed in a silent prayer. Hotch stood stoicly at the head. His hand resting on the wood. Morgan had silent tears streaming down his face.**_

_**"Sleep well, Pretty boy."**_

Spencer had to blink back tears at the sight of his friends. He never meant to cause them pain. He pulled his head away from the clouds, but Henry's hand against his hair forced him to watch.

_**Garcia, JJ, and Hotch, were seated at a table. Empty glasses sat in a row along the table.**_

_**"Why would he-why would Reid do it? Doesn't- didn't he know-didn't he know that-that it wasn't his fault?" Garcia hiccupped. Her face was red and her eyes were almost swollen closed.**_

_**"I tried to reassure him. I tried and now we've lost him too." Hotch muttered, dropping his hand in his hands.**_

_**"I knew he wouldn't be able to get past it. We were both having a hard time but I never thought Spencer would do this. I couldn't see the pain he was in I guess I was so busy with my own. I couldn't save him." JJ's voice sounded hollow as she took another shot.**_

Spencer yanked his head away from the clouds. And turned to Henry,

"I can't leave them like that. How do I get back?"

Henry wrapped his godfather in a hug and whispered, "Forgive yourself."

Spencer tightened his hold on Henry. "I'm so proud of you."

Henry pulled away, a wide grin spread across his face, "I'm proud of you too, for putting the moves on my mom at the RedSkins' game."

Spencer blushed, "She told you about that?"

Henry chuckled, "About how you kissed her during half-time and then spilled soda in her lap? Yeah she told me. Now get back down there and keep her from turning into an alcoholic."

**Finished**

**Criminal Minds is owned by CBS and ABC studios. No copyright Infringement is or was intended.**


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